siannzzz

.Monday, October 29, 2012 ' 10:38 PM Y

~would uiie be there for mii~

I guess, I made another mistake.

First stupid thing: forgot to bring iphone wire, phone died in 2hours.
Second stupid thing: epicly forgot, n i stress to go to a test with 15% weightage
Third stupid thing: went straight to the tutor and told the truth. which fucking idiot does that kinda shit LOL

I just hit a new level of stupidity in me lol wow...

So, shit happens n makes more shit.

Wow u actually came to talk to me about fairness.
When I was the one who came up with the idea.
When I was the one who fixed all the failed shit that u designed thru the night n compiling them together.
When all i did was to ask if u could print n paste.
Thats it....really, just print and paste. Seriously, that's unfair coz u designed it?wow...really...wow...clearly ive misjudged certain people.

Not forgetting...of course i cant expect anything from u...i wont expect u to understand...but from this i realise, at least, that u wont be the one for me. i guess i really need someone to understand me. Someone to know how to console me when im down. or even to know when im down. I guess ull nvr be one like this.

I'm rarely this down these days...I try to be happy...happier than before at least...people dont see the sadness in me...I really feel like screaming out sometimes, to notice me, scream out to people that im not as happy go luck as i seem...That im really fucked up inside...But as a guy, I doubt many can understand that...

I'm only harsh when I'm highly emotional. This time i really broke down...The last time i broke down was, because of Irene? but wasnt because of the time we kinda broke up...oh no wait, it was upon grandma's death. oh yes, i still think of her quite often. wasnt so close to her, but i guess i still wish i could spend time with her now n then.

I still miss Irene every now n then...coz i guess, she was really the only one who actually understood me totally and still accepted me for who I am. Whether fake or real or whatever, it doesnt really matter, she's still the person who understood my emotions better than anyone else. Its not like i hide all my emotions. I really want someone to understand me, so i really tell almost everything. but no one cares. its really that hard to find someone like this again. hopefully, someday, ill discover that special someone waiting for me. maybe, just maybe...

~*emo rox*~™